Finding Home (Coming to America 2)

It was bitterly cold in New York when I arrived in April 2001 from Los Angeles. I had a jacket which I bought from Mango in Manila that was warm enough for winter in Los Angeles but definitely not enough for sub-zero temps of the East Coast. I had no money and so I froze whenever I stepped out but it did not matter. There was a chance for a job in New York and the idea warmed me up.

I took the qualifying exam in May and passed it but a job offer did not materialize until two months later. In August, after returning from a brief visit to Manila to get my work visa, I began my life as a New Yorker.

In 2002, I took out my first lease on an apartment in the city. With just 6 months after I took my job, I have not yet saved enough to furnish an apartment, let alone buy a bed. And so for first furnishings, I had an inflatable bed and a 13” flat screen Sony TV on a picnic bench. My aunt donated two sets of towels, two drinking glass and two sets of utensils. And I had paper plates! Meals were Japanese-style, taken on the floor where I sat cross-legged.


Going solo in New York, I felt like a coed coming into my first college dorm - buying my first set of pots and pans, bedsheets, comforters and bath rubs. My first furniture was Ikea and they were good starter items. Eventually, many of the starter pieces were phased out for sturdier items - a bigger and more adult bed and a much more comfortable seating set. Last year my boyfriend brought my apartment to a new age in technology. I gave away my loyal and hardworking 13” TV on craigslist after he bought a 32” LCD flat screen. He also switched my phone system into VOIP (but I later switched it back to Verizon) and then had a DVR installed so that I would not miss the Grey’s Anatomy episodes when I traveled.

Until now I wonder how things turned out the way it have. Nothing had been perfect, trust me. There had been a lot of tears along the way and in the many times that I have returned to New York from a trip to Manila I ask myself why I am a million miles away from the people I love the most and why I am not spending valuable days with my parents as they grow old. It takes a lot of work to not become a stranger to someone you love that you hardly see.

I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would have another place to call home. But yes, this is home. The people at work correct me many times when I tell them “I will be going home,” when I advise that I would be traveling to see my family. They remind me that I would be visiting and that here in New York, this is home. I guess in my grown up world this has become home and my friends have become my new family. I have my parents in Manila and my daughter soon to join me but the people at work who I did not even know six years ago have become my sisters and brothers. We bicker and we rough each other up but we also have respect for each other and even in real families, I know is hard to come by.

I have never asked too much from life. I have always had my happiness in the simple things. I am so shallow I make a big thing of the smallest gestures of thoughtfulness and affection. My life as I planned it was just to take my daughter through school and make my parents proud of me. What I have been given is too much to comprehend, way more than I imagined I could accomplish. And I continue to be grateful.

I have set new goals, try to aim higher and to challenge myself further. Of course I still have dreams, much loftier wishes that I hope I would still make come true. And I know through hard work I would be able to attain them. And some kind of divine intervention.

We make plans but then life happens.

Note: This is not how the apartment looks now. The Ikea apartment has had plenty of upgrades, including the live-in boyfriend!

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