craigslist voyeur

All on 3 April when I was too lazy to join friends to dinner (besides, I overate when Gigi and Remy were visiting NY separately). The rain poured outside, the wind roared and I can hear the splash of rubber tires on the rainwater that has collected on the avenue.

I often get a kick browsing the ‘missed connections’ link of craigslist.com (so I am shallow – bite me!) and always find something that gets me rolling on the floor laughing:

The Blonde at the Laundromat - m4w – 28
You were the sexy blonde at the laundromat on 89th and CPW last night. I was the guy who was folding other people’s laundry into various origami shapes. I call it laundrogami. This serves multiple purposes, most of which make no sense, so I’ll only mention the ones that do. First and foremost, it’s nice to come back to laundromat and find your freshly dried clothes folded neatly by a stranger. It’s even nicer to come back to find your favorite t-shirt folded in the shape of a swan (even if that one does require a few staples), or your underwear folded in the shape of the Spanish Armada. A red bra? Bam. Hudson River. Don’t even need to fold those; I just create a tiny toll plaza on one side out of one of those tiny fifty-cent detergent boxes and add cars (regular M&M’s....peanut M&M’s for SUV’s). Apparently not realizing their significance, you ate several of my cars, like some modern day laundromat Godzilla. Anyway, you left for a while as your clothes were drying. I’d love to know what you thought of the sock panda. Coffee?

Response 1: Re: Blonde at the Laundromat
Sorry, I'm not the blonde from the laundromat- just a regular blonde. Just wanted to say that I was inordinately amused by your post. The modern day laundromat Godzilla was a particularly poignant image. You're funny. I hope you find this girl, or someone else who appreciates your creativity and wit.

Response 2: Re:Re: Blonde at the Laundromat
BEWARE. I posted a nice, totally sincere message about how much I liked the OP's message, and he sent an email to me saying, 'up yours.' I hope he DOES NOT find the blonde at the laundromat, because he sounds volatile. I was 100% serious in my post- I thought it was really cute. When I first read it, I thought, 'hmm, isn't it nice that there are witty, clever, fun guys out there taking chances and trying to meet girls they are interested in?' I think my sincerity was pretty obvious, so he is either paranoid or so used to being picked on that he sees everything as an attack. I learned a lesson here- never, ever again will I post a nice response to someone I don't know, because no one likes opening their mailbox to see a nice, hearty, TOTALLY underserved, 'up yours." If you are the guy, please DO NOT email me again. It freaked me out. I'm a reasonable person, I don't need that kind of negative bullshit.

me: So like life…so like life!

why aren't i married? - m4w – 36

i'm successful, own my own place in manhattan, educated, not bad looking, funny, nice let's hear your best responses ladies...

Response 1: Re; Why Aren't I Married?
My friend, I think the question you should be asking is not 'why I am not married?' but "why do I want to be married?" Take inventory of all the married people you know. How many of them honestly seem inspired by the person they are married to, or truly fulfilled by the relationship, or even deeply happy? Most married people I know half-heartedly joke about the end of sex, the end of freedom, the end of individuality. I get harrassed ALL time about being an unmarried 34 year old woman, but the truth is that marriage doesn't hold much appeal for me. So many married friends I have seem baffled and upset when I say that, but considering that the divorce rate is about 50%, I don't understand why people are so sure that the only true way to live happily is as a married person. Part of a legal couple. There's so much more to explore in relationships, and while I'm all for monogomy and committment, I think we all need to stop second guessing ourselves and others based on (non) marital status. Also, I don't think owning your own place or being successful automatically makes you a good catch. Women (at least responsible, indepedent, self-sufficient women) aren't as charmed by money or jobs or things like that because they often have their own success. Instead, try to sell yourself based on your other instrinic qualities- are you funny, easygoing, positive, easy to talk to, fun, etc? And most importantly, are you out there trying? I mean, really trying? If you see someone attractive, talk to them. Start taking chances. Remember, you have to collect a lot of "no's" before you get the 'yes' you are looking for. Good luck!

Response 2: re: why aren't I married? - m4w
"i'm successful, own my own place in manhattan, educated, not bad looking, funny, nice"

because you are not *very* successful, your place is probably "just" a pre-war 1 bedroom, you don't own property in the Hamptons, you are not *ivy* league educated, you are not *great* looking, funny is for best friends and nice is for the birds.

me: HILARIOUS!

Response 3: re: why aren't i married? - m4w - 36
Because you're 36 and posting it on Craigslist!!!!!.... When you should be out.. lookin for Ms. Right!! Seriously.. you think you can find your wife here on Craigslist? Would you really want to marry that person, who actually answers that? Think about it!

Response 4: re: why aren't I married - m4w
"Also, I don't think owning your own place or being successful automatically makes you a good catch. Women (at least responsible, indepedent, self-sufficient women) aren't as charmed by money or jobs or things like that because they often have their own success. Instead, try to sell yourself based on your other instrinic qualities- are you funny, easygoing, positive, easy to talk to, fun, etc? " I think she has a point here, especially since *your* first two qualities listed had to do with wealth/security. And seeing as *those* will indeed appeal initially to certain types of women, you'd need to be more then "just" successful and "just" have your own place for them. Think about who you would like to spend every day and night of the rest of your life with, and imagine some of those qualities as being important to someone else as well. Play those up. I'd imagine if your energy is "i am successful and own an apartment" you are *not* attracting the kind of woman you "want to marry" or giving off the energy that would make you the marrying kind. i was constantly surprised when I was starting my own business, women kind of split in two camps; the ones who wanted nothing to do with me since I was, shall we say, fully "invested" in this dream, and those who found the energy/committment/ambition/etc exciting, i.e. it was myself and my dreams that made me attractive to them. try putting more of that out and let them find out you are succesful and own a place *later*.

Response 5: why you aren't married
You're boring and, judging from your grammar, stupid.

Mwahahahahaha (sound effect: canned laughter) Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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