untitled
The walls in the room seem to draw too close.
Stop, I would beg because I can hardly breathe but then no one hears me, not the walls nor those around me.
I wonder if I had mouthed the words or did I just think about it.
And when I try to cry, my eyes stay dry.
They have had too much tears pour that there isn’t anymore to give.
I know how you feel.
No you don’t, idiot. You don’t know how I feel. You don’t know what is going on.
Don’t even give me fucking sad eyes to sympathize.
I have had too much of that growing up and I can’t stand that anymore.
Nothing helps.
Not talking, not crying.
Not even eating seems to matter now; nor shopping.
Inspiration has walked away and so has my soul.
I have no soul. It has walked away.
Utterances, mere words.
Distance changes everything.
You console yourself by thinking it doesn’t.
But deep inside you know it does.
Distance takes away much more than spatial relativity.
Distance takes away the taste and the smells.
It strips away the warmth and exposes the cold.
The noises are too loud.
Sirens, the traffic, the people who want to sympathize.
People who want to give advise, people who want to be a part of me.
Too loud. Too fucking loud.
I just want silence.
I want to be left alone.
I need the delete button somewhere.
Everything has a delete button and I need it now.
Where is it?
Or maybe the off switch to a lamp that seems to burn forever.
I need to switch everything off and go back to darkness.
And silence.
Stop, I would beg because I can hardly breathe but then no one hears me, not the walls nor those around me.
I wonder if I had mouthed the words or did I just think about it.
And when I try to cry, my eyes stay dry.
They have had too much tears pour that there isn’t anymore to give.
I know how you feel.
No you don’t, idiot. You don’t know how I feel. You don’t know what is going on.
Don’t even give me fucking sad eyes to sympathize.
I have had too much of that growing up and I can’t stand that anymore.
Nothing helps.
Not talking, not crying.
Not even eating seems to matter now; nor shopping.
Inspiration has walked away and so has my soul.
I have no soul. It has walked away.
Utterances, mere words.
Distance changes everything.
You console yourself by thinking it doesn’t.
But deep inside you know it does.
Distance takes away much more than spatial relativity.
Distance takes away the taste and the smells.
It strips away the warmth and exposes the cold.
The noises are too loud.
Sirens, the traffic, the people who want to sympathize.
People who want to give advise, people who want to be a part of me.
Too loud. Too fucking loud.
I just want silence.
I want to be left alone.
I need the delete button somewhere.
Everything has a delete button and I need it now.
Where is it?
Or maybe the off switch to a lamp that seems to burn forever.
I need to switch everything off and go back to darkness.
And silence.