The Tragedy of Alfred Elkins
He believes that the most beautiful women are in New York City. And like the hovering guest over a sumptious buffet, he must have a taste of each and everyone to savor the variety. Holding off for marriage with the hope that someone else who is better will come along, in his words.
The all too familiar Manhattan-speak. I am single and there are over 2 million single eligible men in New York City. I have met and mingled with a lot (about .001% of them. Correction by the M.O. - .000001 lang daw). It is much more entertaining and frustrating than life changing. It is like shuffing around musical chairs. At times you just want the music to stop.
Most of my friends are also single. Some have found love and have let it pass each time, unwilling and hesitating to commit. Some connecting with someone but with neck craned high seeking for other possibilities to come along. Often, the majority are in search of love with the ultimate desire to commit but it seems not really knowing what they are seeking for.
"It is not like going out and seeking and eventually finding the right person. Each and everyone has their cracks and faults. It's a matter of if you can live with the imperfections or not" I had been told. And he also noted the frustration of meeting a woman who is almost perfect only to realize later on that the first two weeks had been a show.
True, I agree, when dating, do not rely on what you discover on the first 10 dates (and I mean it). Men, and admittedly women, make themselves PERFECT at this stage. Thereafter when the guards are down that you start to discover the real person. And it is not always a pretty picture.
"Find someone to love and live everyday as if it's your last," Alfred Elkins quotes.
Easier said than done. I ran the treadmill with the M.O. the other night and I asked him if he thought I had become too jaded. He laughed and confirmed my suspicions. At this stage in my life I suppose that fairytales hold no more credibility, as they always turn out to be some psycho suspense thriller in the end.
"It's not about being jaded, really," I tried to defend myself, "it's about knowing that everything is superficial".
I am jaded.
In the end, I also surmised that most people get married because they just get tired of the chase. They find someone and think it is workable and sustainable in the long-term projection (financial and emotional) and then sign on the dotted line. "I do".
It's a partnership. A business deal. Romance? Pffffftttttt............
I will get married, I know I will. Maybe sooner than later. But I wonder if my reasons for doing so would be reasons that would still make sense when I am old and gray. I cannot say my life so far had been a breeze. The errors I have made I try to make live-able if I am not about to purge them into selective amnesia. Marriage is a big step and there is no turning back. I am hoping not to be considering dissolution/divorce/annulment anywhere in my future.
How sad to marry and realize that you had served yourself misery. How lonely to be with someone you share no dreams with, feel nothing for and have only the daily routines of life to deal with.
Don't people marry for love anymore? And stay married because of love? Do we know what love is, anyways, even if it hit us on the head? Barbara 'Tweetums' Gonzales asks, how do you know if your pearls are real? When you drop them in vinegar and they melt then they are real; but your pearls are gone. Maybe real pearls do not melt in vinegar but you get the message.
Alfred Elkins had found love many times but did not recognize it. When he was ready to commit, there was no one who had stayed long enough for his awakening. I can relate to his search, I can understand the need to enjoy as much as possible the highs of a new love. I also fear that I might end up with the same sad tale of having lost what would have been real. I fear more that I might make the wrong choice and realize that the deal does not come with a refund/return policy.
So what's it all about, really?
The all too familiar Manhattan-speak. I am single and there are over 2 million single eligible men in New York City. I have met and mingled with a lot (about .001% of them. Correction by the M.O. - .000001 lang daw). It is much more entertaining and frustrating than life changing. It is like shuffing around musical chairs. At times you just want the music to stop.
Most of my friends are also single. Some have found love and have let it pass each time, unwilling and hesitating to commit. Some connecting with someone but with neck craned high seeking for other possibilities to come along. Often, the majority are in search of love with the ultimate desire to commit but it seems not really knowing what they are seeking for.
"It is not like going out and seeking and eventually finding the right person. Each and everyone has their cracks and faults. It's a matter of if you can live with the imperfections or not" I had been told. And he also noted the frustration of meeting a woman who is almost perfect only to realize later on that the first two weeks had been a show.
True, I agree, when dating, do not rely on what you discover on the first 10 dates (and I mean it). Men, and admittedly women, make themselves PERFECT at this stage. Thereafter when the guards are down that you start to discover the real person. And it is not always a pretty picture.
"Find someone to love and live everyday as if it's your last," Alfred Elkins quotes.
Easier said than done. I ran the treadmill with the M.O. the other night and I asked him if he thought I had become too jaded. He laughed and confirmed my suspicions. At this stage in my life I suppose that fairytales hold no more credibility, as they always turn out to be some psycho suspense thriller in the end.
"It's not about being jaded, really," I tried to defend myself, "it's about knowing that everything is superficial".
I am jaded.
In the end, I also surmised that most people get married because they just get tired of the chase. They find someone and think it is workable and sustainable in the long-term projection (financial and emotional) and then sign on the dotted line. "I do".
It's a partnership. A business deal. Romance? Pffffftttttt............
I will get married, I know I will. Maybe sooner than later. But I wonder if my reasons for doing so would be reasons that would still make sense when I am old and gray. I cannot say my life so far had been a breeze. The errors I have made I try to make live-able if I am not about to purge them into selective amnesia. Marriage is a big step and there is no turning back. I am hoping not to be considering dissolution/divorce/annulment anywhere in my future.
How sad to marry and realize that you had served yourself misery. How lonely to be with someone you share no dreams with, feel nothing for and have only the daily routines of life to deal with.
Don't people marry for love anymore? And stay married because of love? Do we know what love is, anyways, even if it hit us on the head? Barbara 'Tweetums' Gonzales asks, how do you know if your pearls are real? When you drop them in vinegar and they melt then they are real; but your pearls are gone. Maybe real pearls do not melt in vinegar but you get the message.
Alfred Elkins had found love many times but did not recognize it. When he was ready to commit, there was no one who had stayed long enough for his awakening. I can relate to his search, I can understand the need to enjoy as much as possible the highs of a new love. I also fear that I might end up with the same sad tale of having lost what would have been real. I fear more that I might make the wrong choice and realize that the deal does not come with a refund/return policy.
So what's it all about, really?