One Fine Day
I remember almost being 7 years old and counting down the nights before my birthday with building excitement. So how did it get to that kind of a birthday to spending it just like any other day? Well, I have to get the donuts for the office (which started with a just a dozen four years and now 4 dozen to feed ALMOST everyone). My birthday still feels like a milestone but more with a grunt and a sigh kind (argh…older…) that is neither celebratory nor troubling nor even amusing.
But do not get me wrong. This is a great age to be in. I have a life of my own that I truly love – the independence and the satisfaction of tackling and resolving my own problems, and most of all, the freedom to have finally gotten to know me and coming to terms with loving me as I am - inspite and despite of myself.
So now I am no longer the little lost girl I've always been but definitely not yet the woman who has reached her destination. Yet it doesn’t mean I can’t squeal in delight when I am happy, sob uncontrollably when I am sad or throw a fit when I am angry. Emotions can be reined but as myself, I remain the person who wears her heart on her sleeve. I subscribe to doing things unconventionally and according to what I have learned from the school called life. I eat what I want but try harder to reach for the stuff that are good for me but yes, I allow myself to indulge once in a while because life is too short to be rigid about anything. I have stopped being too tough with myself – I take things as they come and shrug when things go wrong. It is what it is and if it doesn’t kill me, it’ll build up as part of an experience. And yes, it is a definite statement that I do not like vegetables. I'm grateful that I am not dependent on any artificial means to be normal, to sleep, be happy or to stay calm. My only vice remain to be shoes, clothes, bags and scarves (too vain?). I love that at this moment, I cherish my life as it is – in all its simplicity and spontaneity yet without its complications.
Birthdays come every year and sometimes way too quickly, too. As a child, birthdays to me meant parties, balloons, gifts and new dresses. I can get my share of parties, balloons, gifts and new dresses any day so the significance of my birthdays have been diminished to milestones. And yet, like all milestone they are circled on the calendar and have to be acknowledged by a pause for gratitude of another year gone and the hope for another year ahead that would be filled with similarly joyous and remarkable moments. Just another day, indeed but one that I wouldn’t want to miss.
In 1998 while we traveled back home from spending three weeks touring the continental US, we flew out of New York on 17th September and was scheduled to arrive Manila on 19th September. It was the only time in my life I skipped a birthday if you can call it that.
Happy birthday to me c",)
But do not get me wrong. This is a great age to be in. I have a life of my own that I truly love – the independence and the satisfaction of tackling and resolving my own problems, and most of all, the freedom to have finally gotten to know me and coming to terms with loving me as I am - inspite and despite of myself.
So now I am no longer the little lost girl I've always been but definitely not yet the woman who has reached her destination. Yet it doesn’t mean I can’t squeal in delight when I am happy, sob uncontrollably when I am sad or throw a fit when I am angry. Emotions can be reined but as myself, I remain the person who wears her heart on her sleeve. I subscribe to doing things unconventionally and according to what I have learned from the school called life. I eat what I want but try harder to reach for the stuff that are good for me but yes, I allow myself to indulge once in a while because life is too short to be rigid about anything. I have stopped being too tough with myself – I take things as they come and shrug when things go wrong. It is what it is and if it doesn’t kill me, it’ll build up as part of an experience. And yes, it is a definite statement that I do not like vegetables. I'm grateful that I am not dependent on any artificial means to be normal, to sleep, be happy or to stay calm. My only vice remain to be shoes, clothes, bags and scarves (too vain?). I love that at this moment, I cherish my life as it is – in all its simplicity and spontaneity yet without its complications.
Birthdays come every year and sometimes way too quickly, too. As a child, birthdays to me meant parties, balloons, gifts and new dresses. I can get my share of parties, balloons, gifts and new dresses any day so the significance of my birthdays have been diminished to milestones. And yet, like all milestone they are circled on the calendar and have to be acknowledged by a pause for gratitude of another year gone and the hope for another year ahead that would be filled with similarly joyous and remarkable moments. Just another day, indeed but one that I wouldn’t want to miss.
In 1998 while we traveled back home from spending three weeks touring the continental US, we flew out of New York on 17th September and was scheduled to arrive Manila on 19th September. It was the only time in my life I skipped a birthday if you can call it that.
Happy birthday to me c",)