A Story about Nothing
So the story begins when I came to New York from LA three years ago. He is a friend of friends and we were introduced. It was a very brief first meeting but it led to many other chances for us to get together.
Since then, our common friends have taken a personal mission to set us up on a date and to get us started on something. When the girls went out together all I hear are unending stories of how sweet he is, how smart and how thoughtful - almost how perfect. Then in an awkward syncronized glance they'd turn to me and try to read my face for any reaction. And I probably registered some. They have fantastic marketing skills but there has always been a small problem: all these years, he's not done anything to make me feel that HE is interested.
"He is not that into me," I laughed tonight as we got started into the standard routine of talking about him and what he did for the holidays and how sad they were that he was alone.
"He likes you! He asks about you." one girlfriend confides. "The two of you are good for each other, you both give so much when you're in love!"
I throw my arms in the air and scream, "Fine! So he's a great guy! But what do you want me to do?"
"You have to show him you're interested!" they sing in chorus.
"How can I when he hasn't even shown me a hint that he is interested!"
Matter of fact, he hasn't really shown he is specifically interested in women. He could have a totally different sexual preference for all we know but other than the friendly banter that we have had, there has never been an instance when I could confirm that he was trying to bait a date.
And the sad thing is, maybe I like him. He is not Italian but he is quite charming (GASP! a non-Italian man who is charming!). There is a friendliness about him that makes you immediately feel comfortable. And like me, he lives a very uncomplicated life. And yes, he is carinoso, very responsible, very smart and yet very gentle. And he also hadn't made the first step. Be it a call (he frigging knows ALL my numbers and I am listed!). What should a girl do?
This is 2005, I know, and I am single and I am in Manhattan...not Iowa. This is the time and place where it is acceptable for the woman to make the first move. But I am also Filipina and it's not the way I would want to start anything. Much as I may seem very modern, in the ways of the heart I am still very old-fashioned.
So this is the love story that has no beginning and no end and obviously no middle. It is the love story that has a draft layout but with a lot of scribbles on the margins and a feasibility study to guarantee its failure. This is probably the love story that has two souls sitting in a city whose thoughts now and them might drift to each other. Hesitating and then giving up. Or it could be the comedy where the script brings its characters into a spiralling circle in search for the center only to twist into two separate twirls. Or a tragedy where what should have been never was because no one did.
This could be anything but this is certinly the story about nothing. Story of my life...
Since then, our common friends have taken a personal mission to set us up on a date and to get us started on something. When the girls went out together all I hear are unending stories of how sweet he is, how smart and how thoughtful - almost how perfect. Then in an awkward syncronized glance they'd turn to me and try to read my face for any reaction. And I probably registered some. They have fantastic marketing skills but there has always been a small problem: all these years, he's not done anything to make me feel that HE is interested.
"He is not that into me," I laughed tonight as we got started into the standard routine of talking about him and what he did for the holidays and how sad they were that he was alone.
"He likes you! He asks about you." one girlfriend confides. "The two of you are good for each other, you both give so much when you're in love!"
I throw my arms in the air and scream, "Fine! So he's a great guy! But what do you want me to do?"
"You have to show him you're interested!" they sing in chorus.
"How can I when he hasn't even shown me a hint that he is interested!"
Matter of fact, he hasn't really shown he is specifically interested in women. He could have a totally different sexual preference for all we know but other than the friendly banter that we have had, there has never been an instance when I could confirm that he was trying to bait a date.
And the sad thing is, maybe I like him. He is not Italian but he is quite charming (GASP! a non-Italian man who is charming!). There is a friendliness about him that makes you immediately feel comfortable. And like me, he lives a very uncomplicated life. And yes, he is carinoso, very responsible, very smart and yet very gentle. And he also hadn't made the first step. Be it a call (he frigging knows ALL my numbers and I am listed!). What should a girl do?
This is 2005, I know, and I am single and I am in Manhattan...not Iowa. This is the time and place where it is acceptable for the woman to make the first move. But I am also Filipina and it's not the way I would want to start anything. Much as I may seem very modern, in the ways of the heart I am still very old-fashioned.
So this is the love story that has no beginning and no end and obviously no middle. It is the love story that has a draft layout but with a lot of scribbles on the margins and a feasibility study to guarantee its failure. This is probably the love story that has two souls sitting in a city whose thoughts now and them might drift to each other. Hesitating and then giving up. Or it could be the comedy where the script brings its characters into a spiralling circle in search for the center only to twist into two separate twirls. Or a tragedy where what should have been never was because no one did.
This could be anything but this is certinly the story about nothing. Story of my life...