Two Ships
Eventually, they said, it would be easier to deal with it. For me, ‘eventually’ took two months. It is not the easiest thing to talk about still but yeah, I’ve dealt with it.
Relationships are hard. Two people with each their own emotional baggage, coming from different cultures, faith and upbringing getting together and trying to merge is often more like a chemistry experiment. If it works out then fantastic. If it doesn’t then you have simultaneous combustion. Not pretty.
Sometimes, like in our case, it works out for a bit and then it gets better and then the chemistry begins to cook itself. It was no big drama. I guess at a certain age that is no longer expected, or even appreciated. The symptoms that began to manifest are all too familiar. We were two pros when it comes to relationships – we’ve both gone through some. We went into denial, pushed for it some more, strained it further instead reached breaking point and then realization: nothing good lasts forever.
The thing is, we have been through this road before. This is not our first break-up and we have had a long record of break-ups and make-ups. When he moved out we met up and had dinner the evening after. Maybe we are truly the freaks that we have thought ourselves to be but it was great to know that we could sit and talk through our loss without loading the blame on the bread basket and pushing it across the table. Probably because we knew we both gave it one hell of a try. Through the many hurdles that we had to go through, we agreed that if it takes two to tango, it also takes two to entangle. It had been good while it lasted. And then you deal with the truths – of failure, for one thing. We then immersed into our ‘healing’. A long few months of 'solitary confinement'.
Life picks up from where we once left off. Resumed the life of the single un-coupled social being in the midst of a metropolitan social scene where everyone is seeking to be loved. Friends offer the same solutions - blind dates, match-ups and voila, the novelty of online dating, which by the way hasn't worked for me. I know it works great for other people but to me, it is just too weird to pay a website to find me a man. Not yet anyway.
Today the gutsier one between us had enough guts to nudge the other for a little 'hello'. And then we reeled into the familiar innocuous exchange about life in general. Eventually it can get easier. Not totally healed but getting there. We still have a friendship. And it was good.
In the end I gained 4 pillows and a bigger bed. Really, not bad at all.
“The ships that pass in the night, one seeking light and the other seeking night; They started out from the same distant shore, each taking their own voyage and now, together no more….”
Relationships are hard. Two people with each their own emotional baggage, coming from different cultures, faith and upbringing getting together and trying to merge is often more like a chemistry experiment. If it works out then fantastic. If it doesn’t then you have simultaneous combustion. Not pretty.
Sometimes, like in our case, it works out for a bit and then it gets better and then the chemistry begins to cook itself. It was no big drama. I guess at a certain age that is no longer expected, or even appreciated. The symptoms that began to manifest are all too familiar. We were two pros when it comes to relationships – we’ve both gone through some. We went into denial, pushed for it some more, strained it further instead reached breaking point and then realization: nothing good lasts forever.
The thing is, we have been through this road before. This is not our first break-up and we have had a long record of break-ups and make-ups. When he moved out we met up and had dinner the evening after. Maybe we are truly the freaks that we have thought ourselves to be but it was great to know that we could sit and talk through our loss without loading the blame on the bread basket and pushing it across the table. Probably because we knew we both gave it one hell of a try. Through the many hurdles that we had to go through, we agreed that if it takes two to tango, it also takes two to entangle. It had been good while it lasted. And then you deal with the truths – of failure, for one thing. We then immersed into our ‘healing’. A long few months of 'solitary confinement'.
Life picks up from where we once left off. Resumed the life of the single un-coupled social being in the midst of a metropolitan social scene where everyone is seeking to be loved. Friends offer the same solutions - blind dates, match-ups and voila, the novelty of online dating, which by the way hasn't worked for me. I know it works great for other people but to me, it is just too weird to pay a website to find me a man. Not yet anyway.
Today the gutsier one between us had enough guts to nudge the other for a little 'hello'. And then we reeled into the familiar innocuous exchange about life in general. Eventually it can get easier. Not totally healed but getting there. We still have a friendship. And it was good.
In the end I gained 4 pillows and a bigger bed. Really, not bad at all.
“The ships that pass in the night, one seeking light and the other seeking night; They started out from the same distant shore, each taking their own voyage and now, together no more….”