Thoughts on Flight
A gull passed close to my office window and took me by surprise. It is late in the afternoon, almost evening and most of the workers on my wing of the office have called it a day. The daring white bird (obese as the typical New Yorker) flaps too close to the window that I notice it's staring back at me and jolts me from a monotonous day of work on the computer and causes me to stare out from 27 floors into the borough of Queens and East River. I move close to the giant windows but not too close though, I have acrophobia.
A fear of being away from terra firma - what if in the next life I returned as a bird? Would I still carry this horrible fear with me and live as a flightless bird, like an emu? Or would I be a hilarious pigeon on Union Square, feeding on dole outs and walking around everyday. But to be a gull or a magnificent eagle and take into flight high above the earth…would that make make my knees shake? Now I wonder, do birds have knees? If they didn’t, what shook when they were scared? I’ve seen my pet parrot Janet shiver after I trained the hose on her when I was 5. I doubt though if it was because of fear. My grandfather thought I had given the poor green bird pneumonia after because it kept sneezing. But she never seemed to be scared of anything, not even when I stared at it for hours trying to hatch a nasty plot to terrorize it like any bored 5 year old would.
It’ll be great to be a great bird of flight though. Then I’d be able to travel and not have to spend hours searching for cheap tickets online. And not have to worry where to stay and how to go about for food. No change of clothes or underwear (eeew!) so no luggage to drag along. I can probably crash some other local bird’s nest if I came visiting. Build my own? I’d be transient so what for? And the idea of migrating south for the winter really suits me. I’d not have to bear winter yearly like I have no choice. I’d fly south or west or anywhere as I pleased. If I were any other kind of bird, not the gulls nor the pigeons though for I see them year round on Battery Park City and South Street Seaport. So maybe I’ll be any other bird that flies low but not too low that I’d crash and get splattered on the windshields of the SUVs speeding on the Henry Hudson Parkway or the Palisades.
I'd want a really nice, colorful plume. Like a peacock. I'd loved to be a peacock - not really flying but just being pretty all day, if I were a male. A male bird with pretty feathers and a weird name - that's way too queer an idea for me. Scrap that one. Let's go back to overcoming fears of flying and being airborne and an icon of strength like the hawk or the eagle.
What about being a yellow bird who walks around playing with kids? Big Bird from Sesame Street is so much what my childhood is all about. I'd love to spend day to day playing with children, holding their hand and teaching them the alphabet and nursery rhymes. Playing hopscoth or hide-and-seek. But I'd be too big to hide anywhere. And I'd have an awkward nest next door to a grouch named Oscar.
The greatest thing about being a bird though is not so much about being pretty or eating small meals and taking flight without a ticket. It would be not having to do your laundry.
A fear of being away from terra firma - what if in the next life I returned as a bird? Would I still carry this horrible fear with me and live as a flightless bird, like an emu? Or would I be a hilarious pigeon on Union Square, feeding on dole outs and walking around everyday. But to be a gull or a magnificent eagle and take into flight high above the earth…would that make make my knees shake? Now I wonder, do birds have knees? If they didn’t, what shook when they were scared? I’ve seen my pet parrot Janet shiver after I trained the hose on her when I was 5. I doubt though if it was because of fear. My grandfather thought I had given the poor green bird pneumonia after because it kept sneezing. But she never seemed to be scared of anything, not even when I stared at it for hours trying to hatch a nasty plot to terrorize it like any bored 5 year old would.
It’ll be great to be a great bird of flight though. Then I’d be able to travel and not have to spend hours searching for cheap tickets online. And not have to worry where to stay and how to go about for food. No change of clothes or underwear (eeew!) so no luggage to drag along. I can probably crash some other local bird’s nest if I came visiting. Build my own? I’d be transient so what for? And the idea of migrating south for the winter really suits me. I’d not have to bear winter yearly like I have no choice. I’d fly south or west or anywhere as I pleased. If I were any other kind of bird, not the gulls nor the pigeons though for I see them year round on Battery Park City and South Street Seaport. So maybe I’ll be any other bird that flies low but not too low that I’d crash and get splattered on the windshields of the SUVs speeding on the Henry Hudson Parkway or the Palisades.
I'd want a really nice, colorful plume. Like a peacock. I'd loved to be a peacock - not really flying but just being pretty all day, if I were a male. A male bird with pretty feathers and a weird name - that's way too queer an idea for me. Scrap that one. Let's go back to overcoming fears of flying and being airborne and an icon of strength like the hawk or the eagle.
What about being a yellow bird who walks around playing with kids? Big Bird from Sesame Street is so much what my childhood is all about. I'd love to spend day to day playing with children, holding their hand and teaching them the alphabet and nursery rhymes. Playing hopscoth or hide-and-seek. But I'd be too big to hide anywhere. And I'd have an awkward nest next door to a grouch named Oscar.
The greatest thing about being a bird though is not so much about being pretty or eating small meals and taking flight without a ticket. It would be not having to do your laundry.