Me Don't Like You

I don't like you. You're nasty. When I make up a fight you don't make carino me. You make the bad things because of me unlike before when it was always your fault and you always said sorry. Now you don't say sorry anymore. You just spin the un-ending arguments with me. Like you're buying time on the phone to keep me there.

It's not as fun as it was before, when you'd humor me when I had my tantrums. When everything that was nice was always about me and the bad was always about you. I used to be the sweetest girl you have ever met but not you don't say that anymore. You used to make dinner for me and coffee and foot massages. Now that is history.

You used to email me as often as you can to say nonsense. You used to go online to chat with me for more nonsense. No more sense, nonsense or in-betweens. These days its just always about work and the weather and everything in general.

I miss the days when things were fun and nothing was serious. When you would remind me that life is not always about fun and serious. Now I do not get reminded anymore. Of anything. Just the weather and work and life in general.

I don't like you anymore and if I could, I'd return you to the store where I had found you. But you are non-returnable and non-replaceable. It's a one-time thing. In some places you are what they would call a consumable.

I am consumed. I am tired of this routines we have to go through to tide over the emptiness, the loneliness, the sadness. I am tired of waiting and of hoping. I am tired of constantly telling myself that I am alright because more and more I know I will not be until we can be together again.

I am sad but I cannot cry. I have lost your memory to time. I cannot remember how you smell or how you feel or how you hold me when I am sad like this. I have forgotten the sound of your voice, the smile on your face and your palm on my lips. And the feel of that afternoon growth on your chin on my face at the end of the day.

I feel like a soul with no destination wandering the streets seeking her home. I have this emptiness that needs more than the emails, the calls or the other temporary ways we have come up with to ease the distance.

Anchor my heart and still my aches, come home to me and mend this sadness. I don't like you anymore. You have made me sad, alone and still in love with you.

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